I believe there's a difference between being seen and being recognized. Being seen can happen quickly. A glance on the street. A compliment on a photo. Someone saying your style looks good, that your hair falls nicely, that black nails suit you. Being seen feels good, sometimes even powerful. […]
I believe that intimacy doesn't just change how you think about another person. It also changes how you see yourself when that person isn't around. I hadn't understood that before. I always thought dating happened mainly in the moments you were together. On a walk. On a bench. In a […]
I believe there are nights that don't end when you get home. They keep going. Not outside, not visible, but somewhere under the skin. You stand in your own room, take off your shoes, take off your rings, wipe away your eyeliner, and still, something of that night clings to you. A scent. A […]
I think I was long afraid that someone might like me just for my looks. That might sound strange, because I chose this look myself. The black hair, the chains, the rings, the nail polish, the dark shirts, the eyeliner, this whole mix of gaming room, anime posters, night music, and internet melancholy. I wanted to be visible […]
I think some evenings only really sink in later. Not immediately, not at the moment you're still driving through the night with headphones on, and the train windows reflect your own image back at you. Not when your heart is still beating faster from music, closeness, and too much cola. But only the next morning, […]
I always thought that once I found my style, I would automatically become more confident. At least, that's how I imagined it. At twelve, there was that black hoodie. At fifteen, the first black nail polish. At seventeen, the eyeliner I tried in the bathroom at night and immediately wiped off. At eighteen, the new [...]
Ich war zwölf, als ich zum ersten Mal gemerkt habe, dass ich irgendwie anders sein wollte, ohne genau zu wissen, wie. Damals hätte ich niemals gesagt: „Ich werde mal ein E-Boy.“ Dieses Wort kannte ich noch nicht. Ich wusste nur, dass ich mich in normalen Klamotten oft langweilig fühlte. Jeans, irgendein T-Shirt, Turnschuhe, fertig. So […]